How Therapy Can Help
Written by: Naomi Yu
We all have an idea in our heads of what therapy looks like. For many, the concept invokes movie scenes where the patient is laying on a couch while a middle aged White therapist wearing glasses sits behind them taking notes. Depending on where and how we grew up and the messages we received from our community, we develop internal stories about what therapy is and who it’s for.
The truth is that nowadays, therapy looks really different than how it used to. Especially when you are able to find a culturally-responsive therapist, we begin to understand that we carry all the facets of ourselves wherever we go, whether we want to or not. Just like how each of us is a unique combination of our personality, experiences, and cultures, therapy also needs to be unique to you.
There’s no right or wrong way to use therapy. Here are some examples of how therapy may look different, based on what you are coming in with:
You’re overwhelmed. There isn’t any one specific thing that’s going horribly wrong, but it also doesn’t feel like anything is going right. You might not even know what you’re really looking for. Your therapist helps you understand your feelings and figure out healthier ways to manage them. Through processing and exploring, you gain more clarity around your needs and values so that you can cultivate a more meaningful life.
Things are going fine. Maybe you’ve gotten mental health support before and you’re pretty well-versed in understanding your feelings and behaviors. However, you still find it really helpful to set aside 45 minutes a week to talk to a neutral person. You can really say whatever you are thinking without worrying about burdening your therapist and you appreciate being able to talk through your daily ups and downs. You also appreciate having somebody hold you accountable for the changes you say you want to make.
Something terrible has happened. Things are falling apart and you need help NOW. Your therapist can help you make sense of what happened and begin your healing process. Together, you figure out what you need to start picking up the pieces and get through this chapter in your life.
You’ve never been to therapy before but you’re starting to feel like you could use some help. Your therapist helps you gain a better understanding of your own mental health, including how your past experiences shape who you are and how you manage stress. You start to develop more ways to describe how you are feeling, especially if this isn’t something you had modeled for yourself growing up. You start to connect the dots between why you are the way you are and things start to make a lot more sense. You even start to develop some self-compassion for what you’ve been through, while also feeling more empowered to take accountability for your life.
Did any of these stories resonate with you? While this isn’t a comprehensive list, it does highlight some of the different ways that therapy can be useful. With a culturally-responsive therapist, you can be sure that the intersection of all your different identities will be thoughtfully considered.
Author bio:
Naomi (she/her) is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (CA - LMFT#110092) and Registered Art Therapist (ATR) based in the San Francisco Bay Area and Portland, OR. She is a psychotherapist with Anise Health. She also has a private practice and leads groups/workshops in corporate, nonprofit, and community settings. In addition, Naomi serves on the Advisory Circle for New Seneca Village, a nonprofit network offering restorative retreats for cis, trans and non-binary Black, Indigenous, and women of color leaders.
